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OraQuick presents the "life. as we know it" video series, frank discussions on dating, relationships and safe sex.(Click image for video)

"Ask Demetria" is back DAILY!Ask away! 

Cocktails with Belle, celebrating #7YearsofBelle (06.17.13)  


Belle on "Life + Times": Making it Past the Internship (06.05.13)

WATCH NOW: Cocktails with Belle: A Women's History Month Celebration (03.20.13)


Cocktails with Belle: A Women's History Month Celebration (03.20.13)

Belle on The Root Live (02.19.13)

Belle visits VH1's Big Morning Buzz Again! (10.17.12)

Belle visits VH1's Big Morning Buzz Again! (10.17.12) 

Black Enterprise dubs Belle "Belle of the Boardroom"  for Conversations with Belle: Careers (9.26.12)

Belle hosts "An Evening with Iyanla Vanzant" to celebrate her new show "Fix My Life" on OWN (09.12.12)


Hosting GAIN Your Match at EMF (July 6-8). Go to to find your perfect scent.


Belle visits Big Morning Buzz (Vh1) 6.21.12

PHOTO GALLERY: Brunch with Belle (6.17.12)

 Belle visits PIX11 in NYC  (05.04.12)

Belle visits Dr. Drew on HLN (05.03.12) 

Belle visits The Anderson Cooper Show (03.12.12)

PHOTO GALLERY: Cocktails with Belle 01.10.13, Ludlow Manor (NYC)

PHOTO EXHIBIT: Her Word As Witness: Women Writers of the African Diaspora

Belle on VH1's Big Morning Buzz 

ABIB Book Signing @Sky Room (NYC)

Belle on The Today Show


Belle on HLN discussing dating 


Belle on HLN discussing Oprah Winfrey

  Brooklyn News 12 names Belle the "Best of Brooklyn"

Belle on Fox, Dating Challenge 

Check out PHOTOS from JI Group presents Cocktails with Belle, Oct. 24, NYC  


Belle featured on "Being Terry Kennedy" (courtesy of BET)


Belle featured on Let's Talk About Pep (Vh1)

Belle breaks down dating expectations on NBC4


Belle breaks down her transition from blogger to author 


    Check out PHOTOS from X-Rated Fusion Liqueur celebrates A BELLE IN BROOKLYN'S nationwide book tour.


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    Read Demetria's weekly take on politics, & pop culture. 

    Read Demetria's take on relationships, politics, & pop culture Each Tuesday & Thursday. 














    The Root: Dear Kylie, Having A Black Name Isn't the Issue. XOXO ~B. 

    Last week the Kansas City Star published “Burdened by Bigotry, a Girl Born Keisha Changes Her Name.” A 19-year-old woman born to a single white mom (and a seemingly absentee black dad) explained to the publication why she opted to switch from what is widely considered to be a black name to a name—Kylie—that’s, let’s face it, stereotypically considered more “white.”

    “[Changing my name isn’t] something I take lightly,” Kylie told the publication. “I put a lot of thought into it. I don’t believe you should just change your name or your face or anything like that on a whim. I didn’t want to change my name because I didn’t like it. I wanted to change my name because it didn’t feel comfortable. I don’t connect to it.”

    According to the article, Kylie’s mother originally decided on the name “Keisha” because she wanted her daughter to have a name that “represented a strong, feminine, beautiful black woman” and wanted to “instill that confidence and connectivity to the culture.”

    I respect that. Just as I do Kylie’s wish to change her name from “Keisha.” It’s her name, and she can do what she wants with it. But despite the tears of joy that flowed when the interviewer asked her how she felt the first time she was called by her new name, I don’t believe Kylie will get the desired result that she ultimately seeks, which is acceptance in her community. (The reporter described it as not diverse and not having a lot of black people.)

    Kylie’s peers reacted negatively to her old name, associating it and, by proxy, her with ignorant stereotypes about black people. Kylie wanted to end that, and the name change was her solution. But what she doesn’t seem to realize yet is that it isn’t the name that’s the problem—it’s the black, which she can’t do anything about.

    Read more: here 


    Ask.Fm UPDATE: The Skype-ing Dad

    Ask.FM/abelleinbk has become popular beyond my wildest dreams- not that I had any real dreams for it in the beginning. It was supposed to a forum for readers of A Belle in Brooklyn: The Go-to Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life to ask questions about the book. It’s turned into a full-fledged advice column, and the source material for my next book, “Don’t Waste Your Pretty: The Go-to Guide for Making Smarter Decisions in Life & Love (coming soon).  

    I run into readers randomly in my travels around the city and beyond and am amazed at the number of people—men and women—reading (and asking questions), and religiously, at that.

    One of the most asked about stories, is “Skyping Dad” a guy who wrote in to ask why his girlfriend, whom he lived with, didn’t trust him. He has a pre-teen child from a previous relationship and they spoke nightly on Skype. He also spoke to the child’s mother, a woman he’d grown up with in the foster care system Every. Single. Night. His excuse was they a had a unique bond based on their shared experiences growing up and he just wanted to say “good night” to the Mom Every.Single. Night.

    The nightly check in with the kid made sense. But talking to the Mom, Every.Single. Night? If they were talking about the child? Fine. But that wasn't the case. Something wasn’t right. 

    The guy explained he’d done this since the beginning of his current relationship, but his lady had finally had enough. She flipped on him, and the kid’s mom. Mom wasn’t having the drama, and threatened to cut contact between the father and child because of his unstable environment.

    Causing a disturbance with the child’s mother, and by proxy the child, was obviously the wrong move. But I felt where the girlfriend was coming from.  I had to tell Skype-ing Dad no woman in her right mind is going to put up with her man ki-ki-ing with another woman, even his child’s mother, every single night, for years. I actually was surprised it took so long for his girlfriend to flip.

    That's when the Dad admitted he was still in love with his child’s mother. The only reason he hadn’t said anything was because she was in a relationship. So in the meantime, he had his girlfriend.

    Of course, I pointed out This. Is. Not Fair. The girlfriend deserved to be more than a pacifier. It was time for him to figure out what he really wanted.

    He thought about it and came back to say he was choosing his girlfriend. The plan we came up with was to take the girlfriend away for the weekend to have a serious-talk that involved him admitting he was wrong, setting boundaries with his contacting his kid’s mom, and also with his lady and her interactions with the kid’s mom. If Girlfriend had an issue with the co-parenting relationship moving forward, then she was to take it up with him since he was the problem -- not the mom or the kid. 

    As far as Ask.FM readers knew, that’s where it ended. Where it went next though? No one could have predicted. Skype-ing Dad took his lady to dinner instead of a getaway and the following morning, he wrote in with an update:

    Click to read more ...


    OraQuick presents: "Life. As We Know It" (VIDEO)


    If you follow me on Instagram, you might have noticed that I was on the road for most of October and there were suddenly lots of cameras around. Well...

    *drumroll, plesse* 

    Earlier this fall, I partnered with OraQuick. If you just wondered, "who?" OraQuick creates rapid HIV testing kits that you can order on-line or pick up at your local drugstore. The best part though, is you can TEST YOURSELF (and your partner) for HIV and get your RESULTS IN 20 MINUTES. 

    I've been travelling around the country-- Blogalicious in Atlanta, For Sisters Only in New York, Spelman College in Atlanta-- spreading safe-sex cheer. In a series of panels, I, along with my co-hosts Jacque Reid and Dr. Rachael Ross, are having way too much fun, talking about my favorite subjects: dating, relationsips and men. Oh, and sex.  

    The best part is if you missed the events, you don't have to miss the knowledge. Check out our video series, "Life. As We Know It" HERE. The first four of the series are up! 

    This is just the beginning. Lots more events and video and juicy girl-talk to come. Next up? World Aids Day in NYC... with Magic Johnson. 



    Ask Demetria: My Male BFF Has A New GF. Now What? 

    Julia Roberts & Cameron Diaz in one of my favorite rom-coms "My Best Friend's Wedding""Is there, in your opinion, an unspoken understanding that one should heed a certain discretion with friends of the opposite sex when they enter a relationship? For example, if I’m best friends with a guy that has a new girlfriend, does that mean I have to censor how often I contact him, especially if the new girlfriend doesn't know me personally?” —K.U.

    In so many words, yes. But instead of taking for granted an “unspoken understanding,” you should have a conversation with your friend about what’s expected, what’s crossing lines and what’s likely to rattle to your friend’s significant other.

    I find that I’m one of the rare people who believe men and women can be friends, just friends and only friends. I have several male friends, friendships that span more than and approaching a decade, and they are strictly platonic. We are not superhuman to accomplish this feat. It is possible, as you seem to know.

    But like I said, that tends to be a rare perspective. A noticeable number of the people who contact me for help with their relationships have complaints about their significant other’s opposite-sex friendships. Some just don’t want their mate to have them at all. Period. Others find that friends call too often, too late, are alternately “too friendly” or “not making enough effort” to get to know the new mate. And a lot of times they fear that the “friend” is secretly crushing on their partner and just waiting to sabotage the relationship. Any of this can be true. And it can also entirely be paranoia resulting from insecurity about the relationship.

    You’re dealing with it, so you know how odd this situation can be, at least for you. You’ve been friends with a guy all this time, and now this new woman comes along and you have to fall back? It doesn’t seem fair. But look at things from her perspective, too. There’s another nonrelative friend in her man’s life who knows him better than she does. That’s not exactly a comfortable feeling, either.

    I’m happy when my guy friends get into relationships because, well, they’re my friends and I want them to be happy. But admittedly, it could be annoying at times to act in a respectful way of the relationship, especially when I was single. For instance, when something wonderful or surprising or tragic happened, I’d pick up the phone at any time of day and shout, “Dude, you will not believe ... !”


    Read more: here 


    Wake Up, Mr. West: Kanye West, 'Clayton Bigsby' & the Confederate Flag

    Earlier this week, I was driving home from the gym. I’d conveniently remembered my headphones so as not to die from boredom on the treadmill, but I forgot The Chord, the one that connects my iPhone to my truck’s stereo system.

    I was stuck in the end of rush hour traffic and forced to listen to the radio, which I rarely do unless there’s a juicy interview on Power 105. Lucky for me, it was Hot 97’s countdown. Kanye West’s “Bound 2” came on. And I lost it… in a good way.

    I gave "Yeezus" a cursory listen when it dropped and decided it wasn’t as good as say, "My Dark Twisted Fantasy”. I thought the same about “Watch the Throne”, which is now one of my favorite albums. I gave that a few more chances—and by chances, I mean listened to it while I drove because that’s when I really determine if I like something.

    Back then, I liked Kanye’s persona and wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. By the time Yeezus dropped, I’d lost some love so I wasn’t as willing to expend the effort.

    That’s my bad. Because the album has some bangers that move me the same way “College Dropout” did. “Black Skinhead”, “Blood on the Leaves” (which a lot of people hate for the chosen content over a Nina Simone sample) and “Bound 2” are amazing. Period.

    After I turned the sound all the way up in my truck, singing along to the chorus at the top of my lungs, I got home and played it on repeat for 30 minutes. And after that, I wondered if liking Kanye music and loathing the actual man made me a hypocrite. I’d recently written a scathing editorial about what a massive douche West is for equating his woman to First Lady Michelle Obama. And here I was days later feeling his music like my air supply depended on it. Maybe I should give Kanye the person another try? I mean, he made “Jesus Walks”.

    But iCan’t with Kanye West, at least the person, anymore. And this comes from a reformed Kanye “Stan.”

    His latest stunt with this confederate flag bidness—selling it at his store, putting it on his tour paraphenelia, draping himself in it, wearing it to shop at Barneys as a double whammy— is my breaking point. West thought Spike Lee would be mad at him because he wanted to put on “80 gold chains and go ig’nant?” Hardly. It wasn’t enough for Kanye to be an ass, he had to go and be a [c-bomb] too.

    Click to read more ...


    #WhiteGirlsRock Everyday. Can Black Women Get 2 Hours?! Damn!

    I cursed on Twitter Sunday night. For regular readers of my blog, these means nothing, except you know how my Daddy feels about that. But I’ve made it a four-year habit of not dropping swear-bombs on social media, at least not without the *** to clean it up and keep it cute.

    It takes a lot for me to get unnerved, (and if you read Ask.Fm/abelleinbk, you know that’s true.) But it was post-Black Girls Rock, an annual awards show that built its way from a private event in NYC to being aired on a big fancy stage in NYC. I used to go to it when it was held in a room at Lincoln Center and I sat way in the back in the press section squinting to see because I was too vain to put on my un-fabulous glasses when surrounded by glorious women whose names are boldfaced when they are written about. 

    When BET picked up the show, I traveled from Brooklyn to the Bronx twice for the taping—and I NEVER go to the Bronx. This year, I struggled through two hours or traffic to get to its new taping location at the NJPAC. I crossed state lines!!!! Because that’s what this show means to me. And it was worth it.  

    I saw the show live, and still, I tuned in—without a Neilsen box to track my viewing—because it’s a rare occasion that Black girls get celebrated. We get seen often enough, and most often in lights that I don’t always condone, but sometimes find entertaining. Black Girls Rock is a sweet spot where women who look like me, women who I admire, are celebrated and our accomplishments are reveled in. I live for Black Girls Rock.

    Mara Brock Akil was rewarded this year and even with a myriad of accomplishments and recognition that follow her name, you could hear in her passionate acceptance speech what an honor it was for her to be there, recognized by her peers and staring out an audience full of women who look like her, a rare occasion.  And so eloquently, as expected, she broke it all the way down why she does what she does, and in essence, what Black Girls Rock is all about:  

    When there IS an image that resembles us, oftentimes upon closer inspection, it’s not us…Black women, even if nobody else sees you, I SEE YOU…We are worth protecting and we are worth loving. When we dare to walk this world unapologetically…it’s how we put our own pictures up and validate ourselves.

    The boldfaced names are who get most of the attention, but I’m there for the moment when it’s the girl who reminds me of me, the one who's just doing what she does because she has to and never thought it would get her far, gets her honor. (Last year, it was my mentee Alize McBeal). This year it was Ameena Matthews, a young sister working to stop violence on the streets of Chicago by sometimes using he body as a human shield, who left me with tears in my eyes. 

    She has a gold tooth and a wears "a dang scarf", as she called it, and she implied in her speech that girls that look like her weren’t “supposed to be” on stages in front of Queen Latifah and Patti LaBelle, and Tracee Ellis Ross, and oh, a national audience. She spoke way beyond her allotted time and no one cut her off like they tried to with Halle Berry when she won her Oscar, because everyone respected that moment and knew how rare it was for us to have our say, our way.That’s the crux of Black Girls Rock.

    I was feeling all happy and re-empowered while I watched the show. And I was feeling myself for being a Black Girl, or er, woman, who rocks. And I was pissed when I saw the hashtag #whitegirlsrock on Twitter as a reaction to Black women celebrating.

    I called the hashtag “bullsh**” because that pretty much summed it up well.

    Click to read more ...